Last Prayers of a Sumerian Herder

The Watchers are coming!

The Watchers are coming!

Hide your women-

The Watchers are coming!

Oh Yahweh, please spare my cows

From those bloody Nephelim brats-

Hot damn. It’s Azazel

There go my daughters…

-Last Prayers of a Sumerian Herder

Samyaza is stalking me again

Oh Ishtar, make him stop!

He’s strange and uncouth and crass

I would not have him as my man

But a one-night stand never hurt anything…

-Istehar’s Evening Prayers

Dear Lord

I’m sick and tired of living in this bloody cave

What kind of idiot shuts himself up in the desert for decades,

Praying for the world’s salvation?

All I want is a god-damn beer

and some busty temple prostitute at my side.

Send the Flood already, use Roach Spray on the Watchers-

I don’t care!

Just let me out

of this dumbass


Humbly, yours always


Dear God,

Thanks for the biggest cockblock of the universe, dude.

You turned my chick into a frigging constellation

Not cool- not cool, bro.

And you wonder why I left You?

– A text from Samyaza

Dear God

Who let the frat boys outta Hell?

– From Me, a modern day reader

Inspired by the Book of Enoch and tale from ancient Jewish lore. Further proof that Samyaza/Samael can never get some. Azazel is laughing in his chains.

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