The Watchers are coming!
The Watchers are coming!
Hide your women-
The Watchers are coming!
Oh Yahweh, please spare my cows
From those bloody Nephelim brats-
Hot damn. It’s Azazel
There go my daughters…
-Last Prayers of a Sumerian Herder
Samyaza is stalking me again
Oh Ishtar, make him stop!
He’s strange and uncouth and crass
I would not have him as my man
But a one-night stand never hurt anything…
-Istehar’s Evening Prayers
Dear Lord
I’m sick and tired of living in this bloody cave
What kind of idiot shuts himself up in the desert for decades,
Praying for the world’s salvation?
All I want is a god-damn beer
and some busty temple prostitute at my side.
Send the Flood already, use Roach Spray on the Watchers-
I don’t care!
Just let me out
of this dumbass
pit.
Humbly, yours always
-Enoch
Dear God,
Thanks for the biggest cockblock of the universe, dude.
You turned my chick into a frigging constellation
Not cool- not cool, bro.
And you wonder why I left You?
– A text from Samyaza
Dear God
Who let the frat boys outta Hell?
– From Me, a modern day reader
Inspired by the Book of Enoch and tale from ancient Jewish lore. Further proof that Samyaza/Samael can never get some. Azazel is laughing in his chains.